May - 2021

She Ain't Heavy, She's My Mother

Jane

May 31, 2021

Who do you love more?

8.5.21 We often have very cosy Friday night dinners, especially when it is just us - Yasha (Coby), Gil, Mum and I. It is the end of the week and Gil is bubbly and animated. Yasha and Gil are an odd pair and when they're together they make me laugh. They have an unusually close relationship, seeing that they are poles apart in temperament, looks and beliefs. The funniest times are when the two of them are lovingly playful with mum.

Jane

May 30, 2021

I exploded today. Poor mum

5.12.20 ... I’m scolding mum. She’s taken her nappies off for the third time today. Everything’s pished. I try to explain to her in a clear, slow voice: 'Don’t take your nappy off'. I selfishly add: ‘It makes me have to work very hard. I have to change all the sheets and wash everything’. Over and over again. ‘I’m silly’ she whispers. 'Try not to take your nappy off.' I sound like a broken record. She looks me in the eye and says: 'You don’t know that I don’t have a brain'. I

Jane

May 30, 2021

Tom Days

20.5.21 Tom is 85 and a precious relic from the old world. He is down to earth and frugal, the simple things make him happy. Tall, charming and strong in his stained khaki overalls, he can chop wood for hours, dig deep holes to plant trees or mend broken pipes, and carry heavy furniture up and down the stairs. Lazy is the last word to describe him. He is my loyal helper and comes most weeks to fix things around the house or build little aids that help me care for mum. Some of

Mum is 97 or maybe 98, according to the Lodz Ghetto records. Till now, she has lived a rich and vibrant life, despite living through the war and its aftermath. In 2017, after dad died, she made the decision to move in with me. Instead of feeling burdened, I embraced the change and the opportunity to care for her.

These posts capture mum’s precious last years living with me in my home - a ‘share home’ - with other family members and housemates - who all support, appreciate and love having her around.

Many of us are not familiar or get a chance to be involved in the lives of the very old. I wanted to documents the years with mum as a record for the generations to come, (and others who might be interested) that reveal the daily joys and challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia.

As an afterthought, we know that mum hasn’t always been old. In these posts I also aim to include the heart-felt and awe inspiring stories from her earlier years.

MY PERFECT MAN

My Man in Melbourne

An Ode to a Human Painting Machine

Ketubot/Marriage Contracts

An Ode to a Human Painting Machine

janeKormanART

She Ain't Heavy, She's My Mother